and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
