So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
