Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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