So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My balls are so social today.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
