he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
false alarm, still single
Randomize
