What did we do last night that was yellow?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
