ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
