You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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