I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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