You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
