I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
