you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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