he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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