Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
