Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize