I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
