Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
