I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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