I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
