Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
