We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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