is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize