After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
