Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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