Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
