I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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