dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
