Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
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