we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I didn't notice because vodka
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
