Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize