# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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