Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
