There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
