i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
