im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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