is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
