so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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