I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
