Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
