Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
