Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
