We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
