Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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