her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
