you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
