What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
