I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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