Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
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Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
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