this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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