our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize