sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
