Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
