Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
