I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
