Me too!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
