somebody snuck up and got me drunk
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize