Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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