You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
