You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize