So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
