and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
