Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize