READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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