I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
