Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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