Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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